At Least the Popcorn Wasn't Bad
by orchidcactus
Summary: Shepard and Garrus spend an afternoon of shore leave on the Citadel. Pure, unapologetic fluff.


Title: At Least the Popcorn Wasn't Bad

Pairing: f!Shepard/Garrus

Wordcount: ~2,300

Rating: T

A/N: Set after ME2. More sweet all in one place than that bowl of leftover Halloween candy on your desk. Written for a prompt. Notes at the end.

-o-

The list of unpleasant places Garrus has followed Shepard isn't short. Dead Reapers, ships overrun by geth, missions to kill people, missions to save people, abandoned hospitals, slums, creepy mines, the other side of the Omega 4 relay. All those places and it always seemed to turn out better than he expected, so this shouldn't be any different, right?

"You're sure about this? Maybe Joker's suggestions shouldn't be taken literally," he says, as she guides the car toward an empty space. He'd hoped to miss local shift-change on the Ward, but Shepard had insisted this was the only time they could see this. Around them, other vehicles zip along the traffic lanes of the parking deck, and the walkways leading to and from the commerce area are clogged with different species.

"It's just two hours, Garrus."

"Yeah."

"I did do your half of shore leave yesterday with you," she reminds him.

"Shepard, that was a shooting range, testing heavy weapon prototypes. You like both of those things. They kept the range open after hours so you could launch 'one more round.' The only reason management didn't call security to kick us out is you were holding a missile launcher."

She gives a fond half-smile. Garrus knows true happiness when he sees it.

"The ML-85," she says. "About time Armax came out with something new."

"Right." He drums his fingers on his thigh. Leans his head back on the rest and cuts his eyes at her. "They make some decent armor, too. Heard Rodam Expeditions got in a new shipment, and the turian that runs the place seems to like you. Might cut you a deal."

"Etarn Tiron?"

"Uh-huh."

"Nice try," she says, pressing the canopy control. As the it lifts, she turns in her seat. There's a crease between her eyes that means she's genuinely concerned. "If you really don't want to do this, we don't have to."

He raises his brow plates. "No, it's fine. Just never been a real fan of horror vids."

"After the things we've seen? Me either." She slips her hand into his and grins crookedly. "Joker swore this is nothing like _Geth_ or _Geth 2: The Reboot_."

He chuckles, running his thumb lightly over the backs of her knuckles. "You know they're working on a third?"

"Yeah," she says. "Legion sent me a note about it. 'Shepard-Commander. Geth do not intentionally infiltrate. We have reached a consensus that this data collection will contain inconsistencies.' "

"Everyone's a critic," he says, releasing her hand and pushing himself out of his seat.

A group of humans, colony tourists from the look of them, unload from a car in the next space and crowd onto the walkway. One of them stares at Shepard as they move past the nose of the car, but thankfully he doesn't say anything.

It was funny the first few times it happened and Garrus would never pass up the opportunity to give Shepard a hard time about signing autographs, but it would be nice if this particular trip went uninterrupted. Wasn't too often they got the chance to relax and just enjoy each other's company.

"So, these things are popular on Earth?" he calls over the car to her.

Shepard waits for the tourists to move further away before walking around to his side of the car.

"What?" she asks. They fall in beside each other, moving with the press of other pedestrians.

"The holo. Humans watch these on Earth?"

"Umm. No. Not for a long time," she says, as a volus jostles between them. She frowns at his back, then brings up a screen on her omni-tool. "'Enjoy limited showings of this classic Old-Earth movie in a realistic setting. Now with added ambiance!' "

"Ambiance?"

She shrugs and closes the screen, pointing further down the walkway at the glass front of the theater, where a line has formed. "There's the place."

The reason for the line becomes clear when they get closer to the entrance. Instead of an automated kiosk, there's an asari clerk waiting to take their credit chits.

Shepard leans a little closer to Garrus as the girl passes their change back to them. "Realistic setting? Looks like a riot waiting to happen, if they show something like the new _Blasto_."

He tries to keep a straight face. "Some people take that hanar pretty seriously."

When they step into the lobby, the smell hits him, despite the roar of the overhead fans. Levo food always smells funny to him, but the only way to describe this is disgusting.

"What is that?" he asks.

"Ambiance?" Shepard laughs. "Smells fine to me. The brochure said the food is part of the experience."

She follows the other patrons, joining a line, but then she frowns at the scrolling display behind the merchants. Garrus follows her gaze, his translator struggling to sort out the words.

"Is 'popcorn' worth fifteen credits?"

"Apparently," she says. "Told you I've never done this before."

"Right," Garrus says. "And we all know you really don't like doing research."

"Not fair," she looks at him out of the corner of her eye, folds her arms over her waist, and says, smugly, "I did watch the vids."

The line moves up, but not before he flicks a mandible at her for her effort.

"Offer them an endorsement, see if they'll give you a discount," he deadpans, while the human couple in front of them debate on whether they really need the giant size container of the off-white food. Garrus doubts a krogan could eat that much.

"You want me to use my Spectre status to get cheap popcorn?" Shepard arches her eyebrows.

"You don't have a problem with doing it when you want a new model ship."

"Different. I had to have a _Qwib-Qwib_."

"Uh-huh."

Turns out that they also carry the dextro version of popcorn. He takes his container from the merchant, breathing in deeply. "Roasted _annona_. Haven't had this since I was a kid."

Shepard just wrinkles her nose.

The seating in the theater is unexpected, too.

"Why is it so dark?" Shepard asks, stopping just inside the door, allowing her eyes to adjust. Garrus toggles his visor to the low-visibility setting, trying to get the layout of the place.

"I don't know. This place is in violation of at least three different subsections of Citadel fire codes."

Another asari, wearing the same uniform as the clerk at the entrance, rushes over to them, whispering. "Welcome, to Old-Earth Entertainments. Please, try to keep your voices down."

"Why?" Shepard whispers back.

Garrus pops a handful of annona into his mouth. "Ambiance," he whispers as he chews.

The asari beams at him. When she looks at Shepard, her smile dims a bit. "Please, take your seats, we'll be beginning soon. Also, we here at Old-Earth Entertainments would appreciate it if you'd turn off all communication devices."

Shepard watches her hurry off toward a loud pair of krogan. "Whispering before the holo starts I don't understand, but who doesn't turn off their comms? That's just rude."

They make their way down the aisle, and after a small amount of debate - _no one sits that close to the display_, Garrus argues - pick a row midway between the rear of the theater and the projection area. As they walk down the row, he can feel something... tacky under his boots.

"What the...?" He uses his visor, scrolling through the options for each spectrum of light. None of them give him a clear reading as to what's coating the floor.

"I think that's more - " Shepard starts.

"If you say 'ambiance' I'm going to leave," he threatens.

"At least the seats are comfortable," Shepard says, dropping into one. She pats the chair beside her. "Come on."

He settles in beside her, and he has to admit she's right; he doesn't have to tuck his legs up and there's plenty of room for his spurs. He's reaching for another bit of his annona when she surprises him by taking for his hand. Even though it's dark in here, Shepard isn't usually comfortable publicly advertising their relationship.

"What?" she asks. "That's what the brochures say we're supposed to do. Apparently, we make out later."

He blinks, staring at her in the dim light as the phrase translates. Then he realizes she's teasing him and shakes his head, running his hand over his fringe. "Cute, Shepard."

The two loud krogan take seats to their left and a batarian gives Shepard a glare before sitting in their row, deliberately leaving a seat between himself and her empty.

The display area lights up as the holo starts.

At first he thinks there's something wrong. He'd expected it to be two-dimensional, but he didn't think...

"Garrus? Why is it missing the color?" Shepard leans toward him and whispers.

"I don't know. Did the brochure say - "

"Shh!" the batarian hisses at them.

She doesn't respond to this but sits back again, frowning as she pulls up her omni-tool. The orange glow fills their row and the krogan start muttering insults. She shuts off her tool with a sigh, reaching for her popcorn.

On-holo, the main characters are being introduced. When the obvious villain, a pale human male, suddenly turns into what Garrus' visor finally identifies as a flying Earth mammal, he looks at Shepard. "Where'd his excess mass go?"

She squints at the screen and takes another bite of popcorn. "Don't know. What I want to know is why everyone just stood there. Pretty easy to crush when he's that small."

The krogan leans forward in his seat and glares at them. "Human. I am going to crush you if you cannot remain silent."

Shepard lifts a hand in apology, smiling as she places a finger against her lips and mimes a _shh_ at Garrus. He dips his mandible in a silent reply.

As near as he can determine, the vid focuses around what he learns is a vampire, and its efforts to enslave a specific female.

He and Shepard manage to keep quiet until the biting starts.

He doesn't want to bicker with the krogan again, so he keeps his voice low and leans toward Shepard. When he speaks, his mouth plates brush against her hair. "I'm questioning the efficiency of that mode of viral transfer."

She turns sharply, close enough he could kiss her if he wanted.

Maybe this isn't so bad.

Shepard shifts to one side, closer to him, until her breath is warm on his scars. "This much I did read. According to the brochure, there were things the old vids couldn't show. They used the biting as an allegory for sex."

He pulls back, looking at her in disbelief. "They'd show someone getting their throat ripped out, but not sex?"

It's louder than he intends and the batarian grumbles. Worse, the asari attendant swoops in, cutting down the aisle, descending on them with clear irritation on her face.

"Please. If you can't be quiet, I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"Sorry," Shepard says. She's smiling a little too much for it to be believable, and the asari scowls at her before turning and stalking off.

Garrus flares his mandibles at Shepard and resolves to keep his mouth shut.

That lasts another twenty minutes.

The female human hears something in her cellar. And instead of performing an about-face and retreating, she starts to creep forward, towards the door. Fear twists her face and she covers her hand with her mouth.

"Wait," Garrus whispers, barely remembering to keep his voice down. "She's going toward the noise?" He looks at Shepard. "How did your species advance beyond the stone age?"

Shepard chokes back a laugh, but it's clear she's as dumbfounded as he is.

There's worse to come, he soon finds out. The vampire bursts from behind the cellar door - _obviously_, he whispers to Shepard - and the woman flees for her life, running as fast as she can, screaming in terror.

The vampire starts after her, but instead of running, or transforming into his mammal shape, he walks. When he starts to gain ground on her, Shepard shakes her head. And when the vampire catches his victim without breaking from a walk, Shepard throws her hands up.

Popcorn flies everywhere.

Seconds later, the asari storms down the aisle. Before she reaches them, Shepard grins at him and says, "I think we should go."

"Yeah." He can see the aggravation on the attendant's face. "Think that's a good idea."

When they reach the aisle and he falls in beside Shepard, he takes her hand. She shoots him a look.

"We can make out later," he tells her.

With the asari close behind them they reach the lobby, and then the bright day of the Ward. After so long in the theater, they stand on the walkway blinking. Garrus is aware he's still holding Shepard's hand, but when he starts to let go, she holds on.

"I'm going to hold you to that, you know," she says.

"I hope so," he answers, as they start to walk to the car.

"Sorry. That was pretty terrible."

He shakes his head. "It was fine, and we still have three hours left. What do you want to do?"

She bites her lip and if she's trying not smile, she does a terrible job. "Heard Rodam Expeditions got in a new shipment, and the turian that runs the place seems to like me. Might cut me a deal."

He chuckles. "Etarn Tiron?"

"Uh-huh."

"Sounds good," he says.

Yeah, he's followed Shepard to some unpleasant places, but somehow it always seems to turn out better than he expects.

-o-

A/N: For my Totally Arbitrary Giveaway on Tumblr. Symetrii's name came out of the hat and she requested, "a Garrus/Shepard fic where she convinces him to watch old Earth TV shows with her (something with werewolves or vampires or something silly)?"


End file.
